Are you a Gym Dry Humper?

Picture this.

You are at a gym and the trainer goes, “hey have you seen this”?  And then proceeds to show you an exercise that you would have to be a monkey to do.  He says it is functional, but you look at it and say “I have never done that before in my life.  How is that functional”?

I like to call this” gym dry humping“, or “gym mastubation“.  You feel great doing it, but afterwards, you’re left with just an empty feeling.

Examples of gym mastubation:

  • Leg extensions
  • Side leg raises
  • Abdominal curls
  • Hand stand push ups
  • Over head squats
  • Front/side raises
  • Leg raises
  • Bicep curls
  • swiss ball work

Now I am not saying these don’t get you results.  What I am saying is that to call these exercises “Functional” is a joke.  Doing bicep curls just gives you a pump in the arm, but if you want to be strong, you would do things like chin ups and bar rows.  Not do “bicep curls”.  Doing hands stand push ups does help with core control and I guess tri-cep strength and shoulder strength, but when in hell would you ever need to do a hand stand.  You are better off to do bench press which not only keeps the rotator cuff in a safe strong position, but also stops the blood rushing to your head which is NEVER a good thing.

There are many more “Gym Dry Humping” moves out there.  If an exercise does not make sense, then I would not do it!  Plain and simple.

One more thing.  AB CURLS DON’T WORK.  There I have said it.  It is absolute bollocks of an exercise.  If your goals is to get a bulging disk in your lower back and supper tight hip flexors.  Then go for it.  It is the best exercise for you.  But if your goal is to get a rock strong hard core, then these are the three things you need to do:

  • Lift heavy weights doing heavy chin ups, dead lifts and squats
  • Eat a great diet that comprises of more food that come out of the ground than from a packet
  • Do cardio (What ever tickles your fantasy) and do it every day.
Here is a list of exercises that are safe, functional and good for you to lift heavy:
  • DB bench press
  • Barbell bench press
  • Bar Squats
  • DB Squats
  • Dead Lifts
  • Cable Rows/ Lat Pull down
  • Bar Rows
  • Dips
  • Press Ups
  • Bar lunges
  • DB Rows
  • Leg press
  • Reverse rows

So guys and girls, above are some great exercises for you to try out.  If you don’t know how to do it, get a Fitness Professional to show you how to do it.

So off you go, if you do a dry humping move, I would really suggest you ask your self why you are doing it, and if the answer is “I don’t know” then STOP DOING IT

Happy lifting

The Chief

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One thought on “Are you a Gym Dry Humper?

  1. That’s why I love kettlebells. They are the perfect pieces of equipment for proper functional exercises; such as, KB swing, clean and press, squat, deadlift. If you guys don’t want to have cannonballs laying around the house, there’s a site showing all the gyms in auckland (I put it in the website part).

    BIcep curls and all that may be fine for gaining muscle, but don’t expect to do much with it.

    Peace.

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